What a 4.0 Will Get You

Remember how I thought that I was going to get a few A- grades last semester?

Yeah, I didn't. I got another 4.0 semester. Even though I had a mild crisis at the thought of breaking my streak, when I actually kept it, I was--can I say it?--disappointed.

I know, super messed up. I couldn't figure out why I was so not-excited about seven whole semesters of straight As.


After a bit of pondering, I think I've kind of figured it out. I've gotten bored. Getting a 4.0 is normal and expected. I've nailed the formula, mastered the piece, learned the dance, won the game, whatever you want to call it. I know how to get an A in a class. While I don't know all the material at the beginning of a course, I know exactly how to get an A in the class by the first week. It's not a challenge anymore.

 (P.S. Don't ask me for this formula because 1. It's not really a quantifiable solution, and if you squeezed an answer out of me it'd probably be "Do the work and don't be stupid," even though it's more complex than that, and 2. Learning to figure out what someone wants is a really valuable life-skill that you should experience on your own. Also learning to learn.)

And while I'm not a particularly adventurous person, I like doing hard things. I'm disappointed in my 4.0 because it means that I haven't faced anything that was just too hard. I really want to get an A-  (or even a B) in a class that I worked my guts out in, just so I know that there are things in academia too big and complex for me to learn completely right now. I need somewhere to go, something to stretch for. How can I improve a 4.0? I can't.

Caveat: I have had some classes that I worked my bum off for an A, but in the 35ish classes I've taken, maybe 3-5 of them have been rigorous. Second caveat: I'm writing this late at night, and I haven't written this out before, so some of my logic may either be unsound or not a complete representation of what I believe. I'll probably explore this topic more later.

Ok, so that's the first reason that I'm disappointed in my 4.0. Boredom.

The second reason I'm disappointed is that because I haven't worked particularly hard for all of my As, they are cheapened. Can I really enter the "real" world (which is a ridiculous term because the world is never more or less real at any time, but whatever) and say that I'm a master or an expert, which is what a 4.0 would ideally imply? Sure, I might be better at something than other kids in my class, but what if they all suck? Am I still good at it? Of course not. Being at the top of something means nothing if everything below you is held to a low standard. Calling C work an A doesn't make it great.

Now, I'm against grade inflation, obviously, but only if I'm in the top Q. And  that's another problem I have with the whole thing. Grades and academic scholarships have turned me into such a freaking cynic and such a competitive person. I can tell you exactly what seven semesters of 4.0 is worth: $14,280, which is exactly how much tuition I have not paid (Also, can we take a moment to acknowledge that even had I paid it, my eight semesters of college cost $10,000 less than eight semesters at ISU? Thank you, tithing dollars). Other than that, I can't really tell you what it's worth. Attaching grades, and especially attaching dollars, to learning is a really terrible thing. Even though it's been a great blessing to me. It's still a terrible idea.

Ok, I know that I sound totally unsatisfied with my education, which is not entirely true. I've loved going to school. I really have. I can't count how many good experiences I've had. And BYU-Idaho is truly a Disciple Training Center. I've learned a lot of things in the classroom and outside the classroom that have been a blessing. But can I point out that Jesus gave his disciples really hard things to do? Try "Be ye therefore perfect" on for size. And while He certainly wants everyone to end up at the very top of the Celestial Kingdom, He doesn't lower standards to make it happen. I honestly think that if the university raised the bar, we (the students as a whole) are perfectly capable of rising to it.

Rant over. I'm going to bed.

Note: I do not consider myself brilliant or a genius or more intelligent than someone with say, a 2.9. I'd describe myself as "Alert, responsible, with a lot of tenacity." And apparently that qualifies me for a 4.0.